3 Issues To Fix Before Marriage

There are many issues that may arise before or during marriage that can make the years ahead difficult. Working with a counselor before you marry can make couples stronger throughout their marriage.

Communication Issues

Communication can become a major concern in relationships. Sometimes couples simply do not discuss problems they experience during their relationship and hope the problem disappears. Every relationship will face challenges that are not going to disappear without open lines of communication and working towards a resolution. Some concerns regarding communication can be the person who simply shuts down when topics need to be discussed or the person who becomes defensive easily. A major benefit of counseling is learning tactics to open the lines of communication. In addition to improving your communication skills, your counselor may give you suggestions on the best time to discuss topics. Bringing up issues before bed is rarely the right time for frank discussions.

Career Expectations Versus Reality

You may hear couples who develop tension throughout their relationship because one partner is rarely at home because of their work commitment. In most situations, the amount of time their career will absorb from their family life is not a surprise. The couple may have been together while one partner was in law or medical school. There can often be a mark of status associated with certain career fields, which can be attractive in a partner. The reality of being a successful professional is there are many hours spent at work and the other partner may find they become the primary caregiver for the children and taking care of the household. This is a concern that needs to be addressed before marriage, especially if you and your partner plan to have children. If you have a realistic understanding about the time commitment necessary for certain career fields, it is unfair to make your partner feel guilty about it later.

Financial Hardships

There is no way to anticipate financial hardships, but having realistic expectations about how both of you will work together to overcome them can be a start. Although one partner may plan to be a stay-at-home parent and take care of the household, it may be wise to address the need for learning a skill or spending a few hours each week doing paid work to create a savings account. The discussion of the potential for financial hardships may also bring out conflict in the way each partner spends money. Sometimes there is discord when one person is a "spender" whereas the other is a "saver." Counseling is not a substitute for financial counseling, but it may be useful in finding the root of the problem. A partner who seems unusually conservative about spending money may do so because they grew up in poverty and are often afraid of losing everything.

No matter how great your relationship is going, the goal is to maintain a good relationship for many years to come. Seeking counseling before marriage can be the ticket to a stronger and more realistic bond. For more information, contact companies like The Counseling Group PL.